Hey there!!! Did you miss me?
Many things serve as inspiration for a writer wannabe like me.
So I stepped out this morning to head for work, as usual, and just as I proceeded on that trip, my mind was on a trip of its own and the funny thing was that what I was thinking of was basically about Lagos traffic and all the things that cause accidents on our roads.
When I was a little boy growing up, the only things a motorist worried about were pedestrians, other cars and Molue!
But now, it’s gotten a lot more complicated and the list is now seriously revised.
If you ask an FRSC worker, he'll agree with some of what I'm gonna put down as Road Safety Rules for Drivers. For those he doesn't agree with, he’ll be unable to deny the common sense therein.
Just because I love you guys so much, I took the pains of taking some snapshots on the GO! They're not exactly perfect but you get the picture (No pun intended).
These are the things to watch out for when driving on Lagos roads:
PEDESTRIANS:- Now, there’s nothing special there. Whether old or young, these ones have been a problem older than cars themselves. They were even a problem during the times when the means of transportation were basically; horses, donkeys and camels. When you driving, Please always keep an eye open for these ones.
MOTORISTS:-
There's also no news here too. You know you have to watch out for other Motorists when you're driving. Not everyone understands road signs (I hope Gerrard is not reading this). Not everyone went to a driving school. Let's not kid ourselves, 90% of Naija drivers were taught driving by their friends.
So imagine if a reckless friend teaches another one and the chain goes on... Just watch out for other Motorists, ok? Okay!
THE INSANE ONES:- Now, let’s get this clear, I’m not talking about
Denrele or other crazy dudes out there. I'm talking a group of drivers that I can't add to the list of motorists because it'll be an insult to normal folks that drive cars. These are the dudes that drive this
and these
These guys need psychiatric evaluation.
They should have another route created for them. They wreak much havoc on the road and are surpassed by another group of mad men that I will be talking about shortly.
Please, be warned, don’t try to drag the road with these lunatics...You'll lose.
They've also perfected the art of begging when they wreak havoc. They will beg your life to the point of depression... Hell! These dudes will beg a Lioness until she gives up her cubs for adoption! You'll eventually just count your losses. It's best to avoid them. A word they say...
DUDES WITH EARPHONES:- I should add these guys to pedestrians but NO! I won't. These ones are all manners disaster waiting to happen. At least, when you horn, pedestrians can play their part and leap out of the way. But these ones are the walking dead...Zombies. They can't hear you and their attention is zero. If you don't want blood on your hands, keep an eye out for them. I guess that's the price we pay to have smartphones. We're transferring our smartness to our phones and we have the Dumb left.
So be warned, these guys are very top priority.
(BIKES BI & TRI):-
Funny enough, back then when these twerps were called "Bike," our roads were a lot safer but from the moment whoever it was christened them "OKADA," wahala (mayhem) started.
I think someone should do a research to find out what "OKADA" really means. Can't be pretty, I tell you. These dudes are a night & daymare. They'll FAIL Breathalyzer tests with flying colors at any time they take it. They're always high on alcohol, weed or both. They're so necessary but they're a nuisance. When I'm crossing a road, I’m more scared of them than I am of cars. I can always anticipate cars but not them or how do you anticipate someone not in his senses???
You'll do well to pay close attentions to their 3-legged cousins.
These ones are tricky because in the midst of cars, they tend to feel like cars and in the midst of bikes, they feel among too. They don't know where to swing so they just might swing at you. They're usually high too so be careful with them.
Last but most definitely not the least, we have ;
DUCKS:-
I couldn't get a live Duck at such short notice but I had to ask my pal, Daffy, to indulge me and as you can see, he wasn't too pleased with me taking his pix for my post but he owes me a favor and I called it in. Anything for you my dear readers.
Now I may be speaking purely as a Yoruba boy here but you'll do well to watch out for these feathery folks. Forget about why the chicken crossed the road, it's the duck crossing the road that should really bother you.
There's a myth in Yoruba land that if you run a duck over, you better put a coin in its mouth or you'll die in an auto crash soon. In this period of Cash-Lite economy, I doubt you'll ever see a coin again. This is a major reason why you should be extra careful. You don't get to see them around because they seem so rare these days but don't let that make you go lethargic on the wheels because one might just waddle across your path.
Killing a duck is an offence punishable by a painful death so you kill a Duck, you’re a sitting duck. Be warned and as AliBaba succinctly puts it... Be Guided!
Between us though, I can't say if this myth is true or false but who wants to find out? *shrugs*
That's it, folks!
Is there anything I'm missing out of this list? Please let me know. Drop your comments.
Have an accident free rest of the week and life.
